I haven’t been posting as much as I should lately, in part because I have been busy with work and with chores (especially moving back in to my kitchen after the remodel), and in part because I’m struggling to find motivation to do much of anything beyond the bare necessities of life.
I haven’t been working out. I haven’t been cooking from scratch. I haven’t been vacuuming or dusting or scrubbing the shower.
I’m on survival mode.
Right now, all I want to do is flop on the couch and turn on the TV, but I know that won’t help in the long run. I’m not interested in “escaping” my life; I want to live every moment. I don’t like this overwhelmed, hopeless feeling, and I’m not sure when it will go away, but I won’t let it win. I have a plan.
When I get home, I will put my phone down and NOT TOUCH IT until tomorrow. No social media, no scrolling through articles, no YouTube videos.
Then, I will put on comfy shoes and go for a walk around the block.
Afterwards, I’ll drink some water, set a timer for one hour, and clean my house. I’ll light a candle, put on some music, and thank God that I have a home to live in.
By then, I’m hoping I will feel better. Maybe I’ll grade some papers. Maybe I’ll cook dinner from scratch. Or maybe I will eat leftovers and curl up with a good book. No matter what I decide, I won’t feel guilty about it. I refuse to waste any more of my time.